Rain

It’s tumbling past the window as I write this; it’s Japanese rain, the country of mountains shrouded in mist, which means a simple walk to the local convenience store, the closest thing I have to a corner shop, involves getting thoroughly wet. I took a moment on the way home to just stop and enjoy that feeling of freshness as the rain falls on you and you’re getting soaked but you don’t mind. I think in this culture especially, that always has an umbrella handy, is perpetually afraid of colds and rushes into the hospital for medicine at the first signs of sniffling, that something like enjoying the rain would be bizarre. It’d be an idea that simply wouldn’t cross their minds.

I need to get on with applying for loans and arranging finance and all the other things I have to do in order to sort out my loan situation. It’s a little hard to feel urgent about it but at the same time I really need to get cracking with it all and not have too much to worry about in May and the start of June. I’ve kind of had the motivation and the drive knocked out of me – I had it before I got turned down for the money, if it happens again I’m not sure what I’ll do. But I do know I need to start working harder on the individual projects that I have surrounding me at the moment.

I just watched Rives on a podcast that I have stored on my hard drive and once again am simply blown away by how deftly he can weave words. The description on the ‘cast says ‘lyrical origami’ and there just isn’t a better description as far as I can see. He’s amazingly good. But I’m discovering that poetry in general and words and people have a power to involve me and move me in a way that I never realised was possible.

At any rate, it’s late and I have a date with my bed and slumber and dreams of a different way.

Travel Broadens The Mind

One of the books that we use when we are supposedly teaching English is called Market Leader – it’s a business text, which means that it has language like ‘human resources’ in it as opposed to ‘what I did at the weekend’. In a way this is a little disappointing because if you go through this book you can hold a meeting but you can’t have a casual chat in a lift, which is really what makes business interesting I think. Anyway, the start of every unit features a quote and the title of this blog was the one that I saw most recently. I thought it was appropriate.

I’m into the final stages of sorting out coming home, my notice is in, my holiday request is in, now it’s just hauling my bones through the motions until I get on that flight in Narita and bid goodbye to Japan, at least for a while. I’d definitely like to come back here with a decent camera and some time on my hands and wander the streets, shooting as much of the visual information that bombards me on a daily basis as possible. One thing that I do regret about coming back is that I’ve not been able to get myself a camera, and I’ve wanted a decent, good quality camera for a long, long time. There are some quite amazing digital cameras here that I’d love to be able to purchase and take back with me but the cost is so exorbitantly high there’s just no way I’ll be able to. Not to mention I’m supposed to be saving for my course.

I’m waiting to start the animation course at the end of June, after trying and failing to get the money sorted out for the end of March. In one way it was frustrating because I so desperately wanted to get started and get moving on the pursuit of a career in animation but it just wasn’t going to happen without the career development loan that I need to pay for the course. Having been told it would be totally fine to get the loan without being in the UK, this turned out to not be the case. At the moment I’m trying to relight that desire and drive that I had before I got knocked back.

Coming home is giving me mixed feelings. It’ll be nice to be back in the UK, and nice to see my family and all my friends in London. At the same time I will be very sad to leave behind some of my students and friends that I’ve made here. I’m going home to a lot of uncertainty, a lot of hard work and a lot of worry – I hope that it will be worth it. I hope that all of this that I’m struggling for and struggling with will be worth it in the end. I guess you never really know.

But my mind’s been broadened, anyway. So that’s one good thing.